Husband = Servant Leaders

Good discussion today in class about the role of the Husband as the family’s servant leader. We didn’t get to finish all the points so below are the main topics and some self examination questions for us guys.

On pg 33, the author states there are 2 primary responsibilities for the Husband, what are they? Wife’s Leader & Wife’s Lover Wife’s Leader
• What is the idea behind the Husband being the Wife’s Leader? Servant-Leader, Meet her needs before your own
• What does society define a leader to be today?
o Webster – “a person who has commanding authority or influence”
o “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” – Peter Drucker
o Napoleon – “a leader is a dealer in hope”
o A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not. – John Quincy Adams
• Read Matthew 20:20-28 – What example does Jesus provide for us concerning Leadership? Great equals servant and first equals slave; Role of servant-leader is shown here. Men, it is our banner to be that servant-leader for our wives
• Men, Eph 5:23 tells us we are the head of our wives just as Christ is head of the church. What does that mean for us practically (Q #4)? Sacrifice, Continuous love, manifests itself with words and deeds, Spiritual Leadership – Pray, Guide, Direct according to God’s word. Keeping our wife’s best interest at heart.
• Beginning on page 34, the author goes into some practical points about Jesus’ great leadership model with His disciples.
o Continuous association with those whom He led – Men, are we still courting our wives? Are we spending continuous and meaningful time pursuing her?
o Carefully and relevantly instructed His disciples – Men, are we even teaching our wives at all?
o Led by being a good example – Out of everyone on this earth, our wives know if we are leading by good or bad example. Men, sometime we demand and want respect, but are we doing our part to earn that respect by living an exemplary life?
What about when we fail with our wives/family, after all Jesus can be our goal, but we can’t do that? The author states that even in failure, the husband must be an example to his wife of how the believer should deal with sin.
o Making decisions and delegating responsibility to them – Being a leader does not mean that men must bear all the responsibility and do all the work. It does mean that he will see to it that the work gets done. Men, what should we do when the inevitable difference of opinion shows up between us and the wives? Where there is no scriptural directive, be careful trying to force your decision or opinion on her.
Wife’s Lover – not just a leader, but a loving-leader
• Men, how did we do prior to marriage in taking care of ourselves? Did we put forth effort into ourselves and our wants? Sure, some of us a little too much
• Well Eph 5 tells us that we are love our wives as we love ourselves and further It tells us to love our wives as Christ also loved the church. – This then is the standard by which we are to love our wives.
o On pg. 41 section 3.d, Men can you self-examine yourself with these questions? Are we brave enough to get our wives to answer these questions for us?
• In I Peter 3:7, God tells husbands to live with our wives in an understanding way. What does that mean practically? (Some Author suggestions start on page 42 and go through 45).
o Communicate with words – tell her you love her
o Provide satisfaction of her varying needs
o Protecting her – Demands of home, work, children, family
o Assisting her in fulfilling her chores and responsibilities – Men, do we see house work as “women’s work” today? Sometimes we still do.
o Sacrificing for her – deny yourself and do what she wants to do
o Allow her to share your life – Open up, your spouse should be your best friend.
o Refusing to compare her unfavorably with other people, especially other women.
o Demonstrating that apart from Jesus, she is first in your life – Men, does your wife truly come first or does the kids, the job, the hunting, the ball games, etc?
o Give her lot of tenderness, respect, chivalry, and courtesy – Do not use jokes about her or make cutting remarks (no matter how “thick skinned” you think she is)
o Express appreciation and praise generously and in large does – Men, here is your opportunity for brownie points – On the top of Pg. 50 you were to make a list of things you appreciated about your spouse – anyone want to share one of their points?

Great Article on Servants and roles of Deacons

Is a Deacon Just a Servant?  We often think servant when thinking of a Deacon, but this article goes into more of the Biblical model for a Deacon.  Good definition of deacon in this article:

“Deacons maintain the unity of the Body by giving leadership to the serving of temporal needs.  They’re not a corporate board, nor are they a spiritual council of directors. They serve the Body by removing potential obstacles to unity by meeting human needs.”

http://www.crosswalk.com/pastors/11609398/#Close

Are we ready for a Harvest?

In our prayer guides for Monday is the below verse. Diligently pray on this verse and ask who you can invite and bring with you to HarvestFest starting Sunday.

Matthew 9:36-38
36 Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd.
37 Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.
38″Therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest.”

Pray for boldness and that barriers will be eliminated that would prevent your invitees from coming. Are we ready for the Harvest that God has in store?

God’s Three Purposes for Marriage

Found this article today that directly talks about our 1st chapter in our Strengthen Your Marriage book this Sunday.  I hope everyone is doing their reading and homework.

God’s Three Purposes for Marriage

Shared via AddThis

Biblical Counseling outline for this week

All, we will have the opportunity this Sunday to hear from one of our members concerning our Biblical Counseling ministry at CBC. Please see the outline below for read ahead verses and topics we will be discussing.

1. Vic’s personal testimony regarding discipleship counseling.

2. Counseling Ministry

a. Why should churches provide counseling?
The church is responsible for the spiritual growth of all its members.
Heb 13:17
Mat 18:15
Gal 6:1-2
1Th 5:12, 14

b. The Bible is full of examples of biblical counseling.
Isa 9:6
2 Sam 12
Matt 5-7
Mark 9
John 21
Act 20:31
Col 1:28-29
Col 3:16

c. Every Christian can give godly counsel.
Rom 15:13-14

d. The Word of God is fully sufficient for counseling.
Psa 119:24
2Ti 3:16-17
2Pe 1:2-3
Heb 4:12
2Pe 1:2-8

e. You do NOT need an advanced degree of any kind to be able to give godly counsel.
Psa 19:7-14
1Co 2:3-5

– Giving a sermon, teaching a Small Group, and Discipleship Counseling all have the same content but require different methods. Biblical counseling requires the counselor to learn the methods. However, every Christian can respond biblically in discussions with others about their lives. This too is biblical counseling!

– The main thing is the willingness to consistently apply God’s Word to your own life, to be teachable, to study GOD’S WORD, and to study THEOLOGY. Every Christian should be a theologian in training!

3. How counseling works at Capshaw. Full explanation is on Capshaw’s Discipleship Counseling webpage.
http://www.capshaw.org/default.aspx?pid=148
Or get to it by clicking Ministries, then Discipleship Counseling.

4. We need to expand the counseling ministry. Need men and women who love God, seek His wisdom, and want to help brothers and sisters bear their burdens. Gal 6:1-2

God’s Justice – How do we see it?

Psalm 9:1-4 reads -
1 I will give thanks to the LORD with all my heart;
I will tell of all Your wonders.
2 I will be glad and exult in You;
I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.
3 When my enemies turn back,
They stumble and perish before You.
4 For You have maintained my just cause;
You have sat on the throne judging righteously.

• Do we live like we believe God will judge this world and everyone in it?
• Do we give thanks to God regardless of the injustices or afflictions we may face?
• Do we give thanks with “All of our Heart”?
• Do we long to tell of His wonders and sing His praises?
• Are we trusting God and God alone for maintaining our just cause?
• In what ways do we need to change knowing that God will judge everyone righteously and impartially?
• Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour, and realize that He and only He can take the place of God’s wrath that would be poured out for our sins?
• If you know Jesus, do we live knowing that God will execute judgment on everyone including our lost family members and friends?

Just some self check questions that I went through this week while preparing the lesson.  Hope they get you to thinking like they did me.  See everyone Sunday.

Psalm 19

This week we start our new quarter by looking at the book of Psalms. We are looking at Chapter 19 this week and it talks about God being Revealed. It specifically looks at all the evidence around us that points to God and God’s Word and Instruction that is tried and true. We have all grown up in a society that tells us there is nothing but evidence against God. However, we will hear from a different side of that coin on Sunday Morning. There is much evidence that points to none other but God. We haven’t been raised around that argument, but it is there and many scientist/astronomers subscribing to this body of evidence. We have a resident expert to show us this side on Sunday morning and answer questions you may have concerning such evidence. Should be great fun.

Also, we will be looking at God’s word and do we really believe it is the True Word of God. Do our actions and words say as much or do we rely on earthly more temporal ideas and solutions. Our Bibles as we know them today have been through thousands of years of making and molding to what God wanted them to be. It was by His Design that we have the Bibles in our hands and we have the privilege to have multiple copies in our homes. The Bible did not just magically appear though as God chose to use Humans to produce the canonized Bible that we have today. The word canon comes from the root word “reed”. The reed was used as a measuring rod and eventually meant “standard”. In the middle of the 4th century it came to be used of the Bible. Applied to Scripture the word means “an officially accepted list of books”. It refers to the list of books that met certain tests or rules and thus were considered authoritative and canonical. It is essential to remember that the Bible is self-authenticating since its books were breathed out by God (2 Tim 3:6). In other words, the books were canonical the moment they were written – No human action needed. People and councils only recognized and acknowledged what is true b/c of the intrinsic inspiration of the books as they were written. We will look at the time line of the Canonized Bible this week and I will give you a handout for further study. It is crucial for us to understand where we got our copy of God’s word and be able to defend its authenticity. I am looking forward to Sunday.

Sins of the Tongue

This week we are in James 3 and talking about the sins of the tongue and our speech. James tells us in verse 10 that “out of the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things should not be this way”. No doubt that we can all use a dose of help in controlling our tongues and mouths at times. I found the below list of “Sins of the Tongue” and thought I would share. See you Sunday morning.

The Lying Tongue

Proverbs 25:18 says, “A man that beareth false witness against his neighbour is a maul, and a sword, and a sharp arrow.” So a lying tongue is a misuse of a deadly weapon. It can be used to harm others near at hand (a maul), a few feet away (a sword), or a great distance away (an arrow). Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44), and God said that he hates a lying tongue (Pro. 6:17). All liars will have their part in the lake of fire, according to Revelation 21:8.

The Flattering Tongue

Flattery is also a sin of the tongue. The Bible speaks of flattery as a characteristic of the wicked, not the righteous: “For there is no faithfulness in their mouth; their inward part is very wickedness; their throat is an open sepulchre; they flatter with their tongue.” (Psalm 5:9) Imagine the improvements which could be made in our nation if voters elected leaders on the basis of the RECORD rather than on the basis of the flattering speeches! Flattery is just a form of lying, and it has no place in the life of a Christian.

The Proud Tongue

The Bible also speaks of the proud tongue. Psalm 12:3-4 says, “The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things: Who have said, With our tongue will we prevail; our lips are our own: who is lord over us?” The most annoying Christians in the world are those with proud tongues because a proud tongue usually comes with two closed ears! Proud- tongued Christians are generally so full of themselves that they learn very little from anyone else. A proud-tongued Christian will talk much of his knowledge and service, but very little about the Lord.

In a church, a proud-tongued Christian will make all sorts of suggestions about how the church should function, yet his suggestions, if received, will place burdens on everyone but himself. A proud- tongued Christian is hard to teach or reason with because he thinks he knows everything.

Friend, God hates a proud tongue. Allow the Holy Spirit to use your tongue in the way of humility and kindness because pride will only quench God’s Spirit and damage your testimony.

The Overused Tongue

Some people sin by simply overusing their tongue. Ecclesiastes 5:3 says that “a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words.” People think they appear smart by much talking, but the Bible states just the opposite. Ecclesiastes 5:2 says, “Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.” God doesn’t like a blabber mouth. You say, “Well, that’s just the way I am!” Then REPENT! Confess your sin and repent. Stop justifying your wickedness and ask God to help you repent.

The Swift Tongue

Some people are guilty of speaking too swiftly when they really need to wait before saying anything. God’s word says the following in Proverbs 18:13: “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” How many times have you had to “eat” your words because you spoke too swiftly? James 1:19 warns us to be swift to HEAR and SLOW to speak. Why do you suppose God gave us two ears but only one mouth?

The Backbiting Tongue

Proverbs 25:23 and Romans 1:30 make mention of a backbiting tongue. A backbiter is someone who uses their tongue against you when you aren’t present, yet they will not face you with their charges when you are present. This is a cowardly backbiter who would rather stir up problems than solve problems.

A backbiter would much rather talk ABOUT the preacher than talk TO the preacher. A backbiter would much rather talk ABOUT some weak Christian in the church than offer some words of encouragement TO them. A backbiter is of no use to anyone, and no one has ever been strengthened or edified through backbiting. Beware of the backbiters, especially the ones who sow discord among brethren (Pro. 6:19)!

The Talebearing Tongue

Proverbs 18:8 says, “The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.” Leviticus 19:16 says, “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people. . .” Every Christian has the duty to deny his own desires and seek to edify other Christians (Rom. 14:19; Philip. 2:3). Talebearing runs wholly contrary to Christian edification. Talebearing (carrying and telling tales) spreads all sorts of hurtful information around, and Satan uses such information to hinder and tear down God’s work. A victim of talebearing, according to Proverbs, is a “wounded” person. God forbid that a Christian should wound another Christian, but it does happen all the time! Some Christians live as though they think God has “called” them to bear tales on other Christians. Many “Christian” newsletters are dedicated to informing the body of Christ on the latest news about someone’s ministry or personal life. There are many nice words and phrases used to justify such conduct, but the Bible word is TALEBEARING.

The Cursing Tongue

Some people, Christians included, have a nasty habit of using their tongue for cursing. Romans 3:13-14 says, “Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips: Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness.” This passage deals strictly with unsaved people and their ungodly ways, yet there are a great many professing Christians who curse regularly. Friend, why would you want to identify yourself with someone whom God describes as being DEAD, DECEITFUL, and POISON?

“As he loved cursing, so let it come unto him: as he delighted not in blessing, so let it be far from him. As he clothed himself with cursing like as with his garment, so let it come into his bowels like water, and like oil into his bones.”(Psalm 109:17-18) Many people curse because their life is miserable. They are unhappy so they make it known with their degenerate speech. This text says that God keeps them unhappy BECAUSE of their speech! God curses those who curse! Christian, don’t expect God’s blessings when your mouth is filled with cursing.

The Piercing Tongue

Another sinful tongue is the piercing tongue. Proverbs 12:18 speaks of this tongue by saying, “There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.” Some people have a sharp piercing tongue which Satan uses to offend and insult others. The Bible commands Christians to have their speech dominated by GRACE (Col. 4:6), yet most churches have a few people who use their tongue like a sword to pierce their brethren in Christ.

It was Teddy Roosevelt who said, “Speak softly and carry a big stick,” but the truth is that if you speak softly you won’t need a big stick! Titus 2:8 commands us to use sound speech which cannot be condemned. Friend, do you use graceful speech which cannot be evil spoken of, or do you possess a piercing tongue? Every Christian’s prayer should be, “Lord, make my words gracious and tender, for tomorrow I may have to eat them.”

The Silent Tongue

A silent tongue is also a sinful tongue because we have been commanded to speak up and witness for the Lord Jesus Christ. In Acts 1:8, Jesus said, “But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.” We, as Christians, have an obligation to tell others about the saving grace of Jesus. To be silent about Christ is to sin against Christ. Jesus said, “Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” (Mark 8:38) Christian friend, if you do not want to be ashamed of yourself when the Lord returns, then don’t be ashamed of Jesus today. Pray for opportunities to speak up for your Saviour. Don’t be found guilty of having a silent tongue.

“For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.” (James 3:2)

SS – State of the Union

Zach’s sermon on Sunday got me to thinking about our class and just how well we are attracting and retaining members and turning them into servants and disciples for Jesus. Being my typical analytical self, I have been keeping a spreadsheet on our class to keep track of visitors, missing lately, and permanent members. So, I decided to update that spreadsheet and let you know how it looks. Keep in mind there is nothing scientific about it, just simple math and knowing where people are serving both in the class and within the larger assembly of CBC. I am very proud of this class and consider it an honor to serve along side of each of you. I see so much potential in each of you and I can’t wait to see how the Lord uses many of you over the next few years at CBC.
In order for us the measure were we are we need to know where we have been and in our case where we started. This class was started last August (2008) with about 10 members (many of which came from Jeff Chandler’s young adult SS. Our intended demographic at the time was couples (married or not) in their 20’s and early 30’s. This demographic had never been that big at CBC and we were hopeful the Lord would bless our efforts.
As of today (thru Sunday Aug 2nd)
• We have 37 people on the full-time/permanent role (my count)
• In recent months we have had 11 visitors that have checked out our class and are potential permanent class members
• We have had 3 people that have visited at least once in the last 6 months, but have been missing from our class for some time.
• We have had 4 people that were members of our class that have left CBC.

Serving and Discipling:
• Of the 37 full-time folks, 3-4 have filled other SS teacher roles in the kids/youth areas
• The whole class took the opportunity to volunteer in the pre-school SS area on a rotational basis.
• By my count (this could be fuzzy) – 22 of the 37 full-time members of our class are also plugged into another ministry/servant area in CBC (i.e. AWANA/Wed Night Kids, GROW, MOPS, Choir, etc.)
• Almost everyone that is considered full-time has participated in at least one of our fellowship events either class-wide or one of the ladies/men’s events.
• As Zach stated on Sunday, many of you are “living life together” or “doing live together” as I hear and participate in many impromptu lunches, playdates, and dinners.

So what is next:
• Young Singles – We have had several visitors in recent months that hit our demographic, but are not married and that is great. CBC currently doesn’t have a class for young singles and we will welcome them with open arms. If God brings enough of them to our class in the next year, I would love to birth a young singles class from ours. Remember CBC didn’t have a truly young couples class at this point last year and look how it has grown today.
• Birth additional classes – I believe sometime soon we may be ready to birth at least one more young adult class from ours. This will allow for additional growth and allow for people to connect to their small group community easier. I also believe we may have the ability to birth “home based classes”, which would be something new for CBC. Birthing classes, especially close-knit ones, are never easy for those that go through it, but it is necessary to ensure people get connected to a small group so that they can “live life together”.
• Discipleship & Serving: While we have made great strides in stepping up when needed and answering the Lord’s call in various areas of service, I still believe some are holding back. I truly believe serving alongside your fellow class members and church members in areas like GROW and Missions will allow God to use us for His Glory. As you know GROW is changing times and we will be pushing Missions heavily in the next year. I long for us to be used by God to reach the TN Valley, the state of Alabama, and utter most ends of the earth for Him.

Thanks for reading and remember my metrics aren’t exactly scientific, but I believe we should measure ourselves periodically and ask God if we are in the center of His will. I pray that we are and pray for each of you on a weekly basis.
Jeremiah 29:11 – ‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

The “crown of life” and “nuggets” we gain from trials

Lifeway had the following to say concerning the “Crown of Life” that we talked about this morning. In James 1:12, the crown of life is promised to those who persevere under trial and are approved. It is promised to those who love the Lord. The crown of life is also mentioned in Revelation 2:10, in the letter to the church in Smyrna. Here the crown of life is promised to those who are faithful until death in the face of persecution. These are similar to the crown of righteousness (2 Tim. 4:8) and the crown of glory (1 Pet. 5:4). We should think of this crown of life as a symbol of victory. In the ancient world, a victorious athlete was given a crown or garland of laurel. You can read more about the laurel wreath at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laurel_wreath. Jesus’ resurrection from the dead showed us that He has gained victory over death. When we persevere under trial for His sake, we demonstrate that we belong to Him and so share this victory over death, symbolized as the crown of life.

Also, Zach’s message this morning really tied in nicely with our great discussion this morning on trials and tribulations. Good point by Zach for us to remember that often we are going through trials and tribulations not only to strengthen us and our Christian character, but to also allow us to minister to others. So remember to pick up those nuggets while going through your trials that we can share with others. Great day in the Lord’s house today…..